Talofa,
A friend of mine shared the following quote with me:
Taken from the tomb of a Bishop in Westminster Abbey 1100 A.D.
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When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser and realized the world would not change, I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country, but it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, I settled on changing only my family and those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. "Now as I lay on my deathbed I suddenly realize that if I had only changed myself first, then by example I could perhaps have changed my family, and from their inspiration and encouragement to me I would have been better able to help my country, and from there I may even have been able to change the world."
Now, regardless of the authenticity of the quote, there is no denying the powerful message therein. And the more I went over it, I couldn't help thinking of me as a young, vibrant, and sometimes, overzealous 'new' Christian who had been baptized into the Lord. You see, I grew up a staunch Catholic for seventeen years...I was even an altar boy.
Upon my conversion to Christ, I was eager to change the world. I was determined to do 'whatever' it took to bring and win people for Christ...it was either they listened or they were condemned to hell. I proceeded to argue with those whom disagreed with me, and was mean to those who did not want to listen. After all, my reasoning merited the mean-spirited approach I was exhibiting. My basic line of thinking was: I'm a saved Christian, I have the answers and you better listen to what I have to say. In my futile mind, I justified my behavior through Christ. So, I burned as many bridges as I possibly could by condemning people. I even condemned my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ when they would disagree with me.
Limitless in my thinking, I was raring to fight to the end...but alas, was I ever wrong. I should have started with me, because it should
always start with me. Christianity is a belief system that is based on LOVE, and there I was tarnishing everything Christ came to die for. I regret to this day the over-zealous approach I displayed years ago. Now, more than ever, I am all the more determined to make amends. The more I think about, I think of people like David, who upon realizing what he had done, pointed to
self! The language in Psalm 51 roars with 'me' and 'I'...recognizing the need to change self, rather than deflecting blame. I need to be more vigilant in my prayer life, in my relationship with my wife, my daughter, my fellow Christians, etc. I need to display a Christ-like heart, a gentler spirit...work harder on forgiving, admire what the Lord has done for me, and desire a closer relationship with my Lord.
I have also realized the need for me to continue believing and trusting that the Lord is in control and that He will bless accordingly. I need to be more accepting of people; more so, when they make mistakes. Basically, to live out the 'greatest' commandments: "
...Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. This is the first and most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, "Love others as much as you love yourself" (Matt.22:37-39). I pray that I will continue to examine self in order to live out these principles in their truest form.